Douche Bags

Lately there's been an influx of Douche Bags around town, maybe it has something to do with the bad economy? Who knows... But the Miami Douche Bag is a rare breed, a hybrid douche bag with great careers, impeccable taste, and seem like the kind of guy you'd take home to daddy. They've really taken Douchiness to a new level. If you don't know what the term "Douche Bag" means, I can assure you, you've run into one in your recent past. They're really not difficult to find. They usually roll with one or two friends (people who feed into their narcissistic personalities), you can find them in lounges, bars, restaurants basically any social environment where alcohol is served. At first they are always funny and charismatic as you wonder to yourself, "wait a minute there's something about this guy I can't put my finger on?" And yes Douche Bags are always definitely men. Not because we have anything against you guys but because women just aren't built with that chromosome. So anyway, very charming and endearing, always the life of the party, this guy is so full of himself he doesn't even realize it. At first he'll start off by making you feel like the only one in the room and at first you'll buy it until from the corner of his eye you'll see that he's checking out the cute bartender or the girl sitting with her boyfriend. You'll think to yourself, "he wouldn't be checking that girl out, she's taken," or "he wouldn't just blatantly be checking that bartender out while he's talking to me impossible!" Well I'll tell you this now so you never have to wonder again, YES HE IS! So at this point, (leaving him mid-sentence) you should turn around to your friends and say something really funny about him, continue your night and forget he ever existed. If your that fortunate that is...

If you're unlucky enough to go home with this guy or go on a date with him, (meaning he's good at hiding his douchiness) you'll notice the following - he talks to you about other girls, he answers calls while he's out with you, and for some reason or other he never wants to do anything you suggest. These are tell tell signs he is a Douche. Although he'll do these subtle things while he's with you, he'll also simultaneously make you feel like you are the only girl in the world. And please don't get swept up in this scheme ladies, take a deep breathe and step back. No one is this nice so soon after meeting you. This means he has arterial motives and this means at the moment you realize this, you should grab your purse and RUN! Don't look back, do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars. Just get the hell out before this guy takes you for a ride. Take the experience for what it is worth, "a good time" and jump in your car and ride. A real experience with someone that cares about getting to know you takes time, patience and the utmost respect. So keep an eye out because these Douchies blend in well, they don't smell bad, usually dress well and for some reason tend to have nice smiles (not statistically proven yet but we're working on it). But whatever you do, DON'T let that Douche get the best of you!

UM beats OU!!!!

I can't even express my excitement when I tell you that I went to my first UM game over the weekend and it just happened to be one of the most amazing games ever!! The whole experience was awesome! From arriving at the stadium and seeing all the die hard fans covered in orange and green, a cooler with wheels, motor and steering wheel (yes people you can drive your cooler!), college boys painting themselves(I painted myself too and a couple of my bros!) old, young everybody was tailgating and loving it. We made it into the stadium and it was pure pandemonium! From the fact that we hadn't beat OU in such a long time, also the fact that we had to win this to stay in the running, all the turn overs made this game insane! We were all pulling our hair out at one point but it was so much fun! I remember looking back and seeing a sea of UM colors and everybody was on pins and needles. I, of course turned into a cheerleader and had the group behind me pumped! It was hilarious! We were going crazy in the car on the way back. Good times!
UM game - highly recommended!

Wine café’s and Jazz bars really do exist!

Imagine you're in a café in Europe or in a jazz bar in the lower East side of New York, where all the tables and chairs are mismatched, there’s art all over the walls, no air conditioning and the owner seems like a throw back to the 70’s. Well you don’t have to imagine it because such a place exists and its right here in Downtown Miami! Thursday night I went out to dinner with dear friends and not only did I experience an amazingly great bowl of pasta but the jazz was live, candles were lit and the trumpet player was swooning. It was like a dream I didn’t want to wake up from. In this town too often over saturated with superficiality, and fluff it was a fresh breathe of air to experience a place like this. It's dark, intimate, charming and inviting. With live jazz, good Italian, and the fact that the owner and the chef are brothers gives this place a family feel. Soya Pomodoro is a must see with close friends and family. I'll definitely be back!

Tarantino does it again...

Tarantino again stirs up cinematic brilliance with his latest film which I had the pleasure of seeing. Inglorious Bastards is a vibrantly clever, exquisitely executed film which incorporates a lot of the Quentinesque flair we've come to love so much. Now if Quentin isn't your cup of tea, he's casted a stellar cast who deliver performances that are both refreshing and endearing. And for my ladies I have only two words - Brad Pitt! My love affair with him began in Thelma and Louis and he has yet to disapoint. It's a fullblown, highly entricate plot with twists and turns and great dialogue so if you're in the mood for puffiness this isn't your flick. Be ready to sit for a long time and pay attention cause you may miss something. I won't tell you anything else because I hate it when people either ruin the plot or set expectations high and the movie doesn't deliver. So just go see it and report back, let me know what you thought about it. I just love movies!!

8 oz's of grief..

So I went to 8oz Burger today. The burgers were good but the service, well let's just say it wasn't wonderful. I ordered the Melrose burger medium with Mozzarella cheese and it came to my table at a little more than a medium-well temperature. Can I just tell you, that is one of my biggest pet peeves, getting my meat at the wrong temp, ugh! The burger arrived all alone on a metal plate. I wondered "hey if I hadn't ordered fries all I'd be having would be a little old burger?" The Iced-T had a weird toilet water flavor which I wasn't really too fond of but oh well. By that time I was so hungry I didn't really care anymore. And another thing I noticed was it was primetime lunch hour and no one was hardly there? Hmmm? I wonder why. Although the place is owned by the dude from Table 8, I don't think its really living up to that name. Then again maybe the next time I go things will be different. The only thing good about this lunch was the company. For now I'd love to put in a comment in their suggestion box and ask them to add fries to their $8 burger orders...

Crazy for STATSO!

Last night a few of my beautiful friends and I went out to watch a little local show. What is Statso you ask? It's only the cutest female group performing in Miami right now. We went out to Moonchine a little sushi spot to drink some Saki and listen to our girls play some tunes. And let me tell you something, they are always sure to please. What was disapointing though was the fact that it would take about 30 minutes to get a drink or so. Meaning our buzzes were very hard to come by. The food was good but just good, not great. I don't know if it was due to the fact that it was packed because of the show, or if it was just that they're service just wasn't cutting it but a few of us were a tad disappointed we couldn't get our drinks when we wanted them. But overall the night was awesome especially due to my girls. Made up of Steph Taylor(piano) and Nabedi Osorio(drums), S.T.A.T.S.O. which stands for Steph Taylor and the State of, are reaking havoc all around town. If you're lucky enough to catch a show you'll definitely be happy you did. Make sure to catch them before they go on tour again!
www.myspace.com/thestateofmusic

Just call me a Recessionista!

Yes, this imposed "re..." (I promised I wouldn't repeat the word) has been a topic on my mind for quite some time now and hey can you blame me? With the way everyone's talking about it like its a pandemic. I look at it this way, if I'm going to be in the R word, then I may as well be going through it in style.
I'm not talking about going and buying myself a new wardrobe right now or anything. I'm not that ambitious nor deep-pocketed for that matter but what I am saying is that I refuse to stop living my life due to the R. I even refuse to utter the word. Just saying that word gives it power and why give power to something so negative?
If you want to get your haircut, go do it! If your debating between netflix or the theater choose going to the theater. Some fresh air will do you some good and who knows you may just forget the R word long enough to actually enjoy yourself.
That's why I dislike American media so much. Everything is so sensationalized. They can't finish a sentence without saying "and watch what happens next!" Its pathetic. They turn something that is a mere downturn into a slope heading for the core of the earth! It keeps everyone on pins and needles and you know what? I'm just not going to do it, I'll choose to remain as cool a cucumber and take in life just a day at a time. That's all we can do really if you think about it. Unless you're in bed with a politician or something there's really nothing you can do except practice your right to vote and try to get your news from alternate sources such as NPR or BBC . Once you do that, maybe you'll be able to sleep good at night. I know I will, life is short babes, try living it in style.

Quick little restaurant review

I just went out on a girls night over the weekend and before the night began we decided to run upstairs and grab some dinner. I don't know about you but my days of drinking on an empty stomach are more than over!
We ended up at Area 31 which is on the 16th floor of the new and beautiful Epic hotel in Miami. I've pretty much proclaimed myself food critic and restaurant reviewer simply because I am a foodie and I love dining out.
From the ambiance to the service, this place has it going on. It felt as though a California restaurant had been lifted and transported to Miami to hover in the sky for the evening and we were lucky enough to experience it. But the best part about it was that it wasn't here for just one night. I've noticed a trend of really good restaurants the likes of which you could find in New York, Chicago or LA sprouting up in and around this town and Area 31 is definitely one of them.
We sat down and the wine was delicious, the service was great and the food was superb. Freshly prepared and exquisitely presented. I had a Ricotta Gnocchi with a Tuna Bolognese, which was delicious and I too thought was an interested way to serve Tuna, but good. And we also had the Striped Sea Bass which was cooked to perfection. Crispy on the outside and moist on the inside. The chef, John Critchley came to our table and introduced himself and the server was really sweet. I loved sitting there and talking with my friend while I sipped my Sauvignon Blanc, the setting and surroundings were bright and wonderful. I never recommend anything unless I visit it twice but I would recommend this place. A fresh breath of air in this crazy city of opulence.

Eye Creme Update

Well ladies,
I must say I have noticed some improvements. My eyes lightened up and I think the wrinkles are minimizing. Or maybe it's in my head, I don't know but whatever it is, it's working. I'm going to keep using it for another few weeks so we'll see what happens but so far so good for Loreals 24 hour Eye Defense.
Don't you just love it when you buy something that actually works!
Will keep you posted! :)

To go out or not to go out in Miami

On a recent outing during a beautiful city night in Miami, we started off at Zeke's. Which if you ask me is one of the greatest places to go drink beer in this town. And the fact that it is on Lincoln Road makes the low prices all the more exciting. Proving you can still find bang for your buck in this Godforsaken town! When did everything become so watered-down and grotesquely overpriced?
It's almost as though the less you get the more you pay. And let me just tell you I'M SICK OF IT!! After getting a nice cheap buzz going at Zeke's we moved on to the W. Yes ladies and gents we finally have a W hotel right here in Miami Beach. And let me just say its gorgeous. I can't really tell you details about what happens next except for the clear wall I remember seeing between the girls and boys bathrooms in the lobby. But the rest of the night is choppy. I do know that the pool was fabulous and the club was hot. And I mean hot in every way. We managed to get in without a problem which in Miami is a miracle. I don't remember what I said but it worked! I guess its years of experience dealing with these door guys. From the moment we got in, the music was pumping and the drinks were pouring. We danced and drank and managed to stumble our way out in time to make it to a diner to eat and possibly sober up. All in all the night was a success. But I couldn't help but think about the million times I've gone out and encountered problems in this town. From the parking to the door guy to the over priced drink and shitty music. It's like what are we doing here? Who are these clubs, restaurants and lounges catering to anyway? It's not me and I'm sure its not you either cause we're locals and we're all pissed and fed up. You don't know how many times I fore go an outing to stay home and watch a movie instead. It's like who needs that crap. The door guy thinks he's mightier than God. Then you got the parking lots, which by the way who are they owned by? Are these independent or city owned? Either way they're committing highway robbery on steroids! It's ridiculous to have to pay $20 dollars at a lot that is supposed to be a $1 an hour. And let me just add, I am not the stingy type but I do not see the logic or reason to go out and be forced to spend exorbitant amounts of money on things that should be reasonably priced. I don't know maybe its just me. When you do go out you just have to ignore it in order to have a good time. Whatever happened to going out on a budget? Tourism has warped this town. Where does that leave the locals??

What is up with all the Texting...?

Okay people, what is up! Why is everyone suddenly absolutely addicted to texting? Do we really feel that accomplished when we hear the little ring that sounds differently than the regular ring and suddenly you know someone has left you a little clever note on your phone? But why is it that we have become so comfortable with this form of communication that we feel it necessary to use it as our sole means of expressing ourselves? And don't even get me started on the whole dating vs texting thing! I don't know about you ladies but we all better start burning our bras or something because I remember a day when being asked out on a date consisted of a phone call and at least a days notice and NOT a "hey, meet 2nite 4 a drkdrk?"
But don't get me wrong, technology is a good thing to a certain extent but don't you think this whole texting thing has gotten a little outta hand?? Most interestingly it seems it's become sort of a scapegoat for people, for those maybe who are not really endowed in the "social networking" department? It's a lot easier to text somebody than to actually build up a sweat to call them and have to deal with the anxiety of guessing what they're response might be. But why have we let ourselves get to this point ladies and gents? And yes I say ladies cause we do it too! I say, next time you go to text someone immediately put the phone down and walk away. Then think about what you were initially going to text and quickly figure out how to put those thoughts and feelings into spoken word and then just do it. Yeeesss do it, pick up the phone exercise your thumb and make the call! Who knows, maybe you'll get a yes on the other end and hey if you don't at least you showed some cohones and tried!
And please...>>>>>>